Sometimes it's just that simple!

Today I had one of those conversations with my three year old that make you laugh until you literally pee your pants. It was one of those talks so deep and so filled with knowledge that I couldn't help but listen with encouragement and giggles. This has been one of many talks about.... the body part that expels poop and the stinky stuff that comes out. πŸ™ˆπŸ’©πŸ’©πŸ’©

I mean they have to learn about bathroom relief at some point, right? Well our 3 year old has been potty trained since he was two......I give him all of the credit for this by the way, and he has never shied away from talking about it.

Today was the icing on the cake though. Today I learned all about holes!!! I learned that my 3 year old human has a hole in front where he pees AND a VERY BIG hole in the back where he poops. He then proceeded to bend over and say look at this hole mom, it opens and closes. Ummmm ok Fred....Mom did you see mom look. Dude put your underwear on. πŸš½πŸ‘πŸ€”

Underwear on, this little human then tells his one year old brother and me how very large his poops are (I am pretty sure I have never seen poops come out of a toddler that big) and how the bigger he gets, the bigger his poops will be. Dear God I hope not!!!! I will need a new plunger every month!!!!

Now that you have had your daily dose of poop, because we know the conversation ALWAYS goes there, I hope you have an amazing day and a HAPPY 4th of July

Signing off
Duces ✌

Brush your chompers, Clean your chompers

So I am pretty sure there are other mini humans out there like mine, well at least I hope so!! They fight you at every corner for NO reason at all AND they think they know EVERYTHING. They ask a million questions and I am pretty sure I hear "WHY" like 8 thousand times a day. They also don't like to brush those perfect little chompers of theirs.

Every morning we went through this ridiculous routine of, go brush your teeth thank you. Can we please go brush your teeth thank you. Lets race to the bathroom and see who can get this done first (he's ultra competitive) thank you! Well, thank you for using your manners but please get your little pooper in the bathroom before I yell at you.....please don't yell at me mom. Ugh. Do you like baby food little human? Gross no!! Well your going to have to eat it because all of your teeth are going to fall out..............πŸ‘€......your tricking me mom. Nope, they will really fall out!

Ok mom, lets go brush my teeth! FYI: I have tried to start with that and it doesn't work. 😌

Well after so long this gets so annoyingly dumb that I just want to say screw it, let your teeth fall out. (I wouldn't do that but some days I really want to!)

So let me tell you the secret to how I have chosen to fight this battle. I went to the world wide web for any answer I could get AND I found one. Thank God for YouTube!!! I found Budd!! He has taught our little human to not only be excited to brush his chompers BUT to do it himself. I wanted to cry I was so happy. So if you have been having the same issues we did, click away!! But be warned, this may be one of the most addicting songs I have heard in awhile and you will be singing your WHOLE day. So will you choose the fight today or will you choose Brush with Budd?

Signing Off

Routine, Ticks, and Insanity

A world without routine.....what does that look like? In our day to day lives we all have some sort of routine.

I wake up at almost the same time each day, I take a shower, do my hair and make up, and then start getting the kids ready for the day. Then off to work I go!   THAT is my routine.

Now, let's take a look into the life my human child who has 8,000 things he MUST do before we leave each day.

First we need to give hugs and kisses (I love this part), then we need to give high fives, duces, peace out, knuckles, and lastly fireworks (ok, not so bad, even a little funny). THEN we move on to the routine he added like 5 months ago......let me ask you a question (what are you going to drive tomorrow.......this must be answered with some sort of construction vehicle) and tell you a statement. (ummm ok). Let's keep this insane routine moving; NOW we have progressed to silly faces (well not sure where this came from but we have had to limit to 2...nope 3....ummm like 5?) And lastly, he has tried to add what he calls Belly Punk ( YES, let's bump bellies. Did you grow up in another time human, where you drank beer and bumped bellies??) Ohhh let me also say 2 days ago he added foot kicks. DUDE!!

Our little human has always had some sort of routine he has had to accomplish. If I were to list them all out, this post would be miles long. Each time we break one another one follows in its place.  For now we resort to the above spectacle to keep the peace. This is one battle I have chosen not to fight.

Know that you are not alone in your day to day fight against routine and what some call "Ticks". I say, keep the peace and learn to have some fun with it. Life is too short to fight it and some of it's even kind of fun;)

Signing off


A difference in opinions........ we all have them (thank god or this world would be boring a hell😴).

But what if your opinions and suggestions differed at a time of importance? What if they differed when you really thought you were right (I am always right by the way πŸ˜‰).

What happens when your difference in opinion is about a medical issue?

We call it agreeing to disagree in this human household. I have a tendency to be over emotional when it comes to our little humans, where my other half is cool, calm, and collective. Just recently our 3 year old human came down with a case of the pukes.

Here is how this all ensued:
Little Human: Mom will you rub my tummy, it hurts!!
Me: Sure little human, come lay in bed with your little brother and me
Little Human: BLAHHHHHHH
Me: Ummmmm can someone please come help. Its definitely possible I have puke on my face and in my hair!
Little Human: Sorry for puking on you mom.

Oh little human you puked... Well I heard someone at daycare had strep through, lets go get you tested ASAP. -$250........nope no strep just a virus....😠

 Ohhhh little human....let's wipe your nose...... WHAT...IS.....THAT πŸ‘€!!! Is that a green booger? Babe, Babe, Babe!!!! I think we need to go to the doctor.......-$250......nope just a virus......🀨

Cough, cough, cough...ohhh that doesn't sound so good....BABE... BABE ....BABE!!! I think we need to go to the doctor, hes getting pneumonia.......$-275.....nope just a really bad cold......πŸ™„

Sometimes we disagree what needs to happen next when our little humans get sick, but when it matters most, we learn to set aside our differences and take the time to talk.

I still might cry and pick a fight because I think I know best; and my other human half will sit by patiently waiting until I have wiped my boogers.....not green ones by the way.....and parent like a pro. He is the calm to my hysterical and you know what???? That's what makes us the best team!!!

No matter how you parent when you little humans are sick OR not...know that you need no validation from others to feel the way you are feeling. So I have more feeler bugs than others, that is OKAY, because I have the calm to my hysterical sitting by my side.

Signing off for now
Duces ✌

Image result for the calm before the storm

Take me back!

The imagination of a child is a wondrous thing. They see and feel things we as adults have long forgotten. They create these amazing worlds with so much glow. I can only hope to catch a glimpse of that again! Their characters are fighters, heroes, villains and bakers. And there is no bound to their adventures.

My oldest human has one of the most creative and hilarious imaginations. His love of all characters big and small is intriguing and magical. Just last week he was Bumblebee, a big strong yellow transformer; then he became that lovely little red headed woodpecker that so lovingly sets up shop in my house....Woody the Woodpecker. Then we move on to Butterbean, who is a Baker. She cooks up some pretty amazing things, which I then get to help create in my kitchen......animal crackers, flour, salt, milk, and sugar sounds like a winning recipe!

Sonic and Capatin Underpants come out every once in awhile and they love to be in their underwear! Company or not, if he is sporting one of these guys, you better believe there are no clothes involved.

His latest and greatest? STARLA! Yup, you heard that correctly.....STARLA! Curious minds wonder where this very interesting name came from.......well Blaze and the Monster Machines of course! Ummmm why not Blaze? Well Starla is a bold, fast talking, purple Monster Truck. Oh duh why wouldn't you choose that one.......πŸ€ πŸ˜‚

Whether he is a boy, a monster truck, a fairy who loves to bake, or a super hero I am so glad I get to experience this side of him. It wont last forever so you know what little do you!

Signing off

It's a true epidemic!!!

So let's talk about something really serious today....I mean I think its serious.

There is an epidemic out there and I think this needs to be addressed. I have held my tongue way to long............BATH TIME POOPING!!!

This is not your every once in a while bath time pooping, because we worked through that with our first. I remember it like it was yesterday. He needed a bath before everyone came over for Thanksgiving. He was splashing, kicking, and having a great time. Then I got "THE LOOK".  That, yup this is definitely happening adult human and you are going to have to clean it up. WTF is that.....a toy? OMG that's a turd!!!! Gross!!

Fast forward to human number two. This mini human LOVES the bath. He would sit in there for hours if you let him. But there is one VERY LARGE challenge with that. POOP! He does it 99% of the time he gets into that warm vat of H20. One minute he's having the time of his life, the next..........that warm clear vat of H20 is not longer clear. It's a cloudy mess of chunks and mush. Its 5 minutes human!!!! You can't even make it 5 minutes!!!!

I guess it's time to drain, wash, and refill for the second human. DEAR GOD let's hope he knows better by now NOT to fill this new clean H20 with his insides like his brother.  (Luckily He does πŸ˜‰).

Let me know your stories because this mama is OVER vigorously scrubbing DoDo every other day.

Signing Off

Oops Life got in the way

It's been over a week since my last post and I told myself when I started this blog that I wanted to make sure I posted at least once a week.

Well humans....I made it exactly 8 posts in and I am fashionably late. Life has definitely interrupted my writing. Frustrating....yup. The end of the world....nope. So let's hear about it:

As I write this post I am sitting in my rocking chair, with the Bachelorette on (WTF, I know) drinking a glass of wine. Yup you heard that correct....WINE!!!  I have put our 3 1/2 year old human to bed 5 times and have put our soon to be 1 year old to bed at least as many times if not more. OMG little humans, I really do need to adult at some point tonight.

In between putting these little sleepless humans to bed I have put a load of laundry in and attempted to clean up the house....notice how I said "ATTEMPTED". This is life right now and most days I am OK with it. Heck, I even get to sit down every once in a now....when I get to write and wait for the next round of " cry, cry cry (Almost 1 year old) my TV is stuck, there is a bug on my ceiling, I have to pee (3 1/2 year old), cry cry cry ( Almost 1 year old).....REPEAT.

Some days I get so frustrated that I cant seem to get anything done and my other Human half has to take over. He is awesome! He takes over until I can rationalize with my inner freak that everything will be OK and the house came wait and the laundry can too.

Sometimes we need to take the time to sit and reflect on life with little humans.  It's OK to suck some days (not get your house cleaned, not get your laundry done, not get whatever other chores you have done)as long as you remember that most days you ROCK!!!

Here is where I have ended up. Sitting in the batman bed until sleep becomes a thing.

Signing Off

Breath in....Breath out....Breath in.....

Breath in....breath out.....breath in....breath out.

These are the words I need to tell myself sometimes when putting our little humans to bed. Anyone else have trouble with bedtime routines??? Well we do and it can be down right terrible sometimes. I mean a glass of wine has never looked so good after some of these night time episodes!! Oh my gosh little human, is it really that hard to lay down, close your eyes, and dream of fluffy marshmallows????

Yup, apparently it is. Right now, my husband is currently cooing our little 3 year old human to bed because heaven forbid we shut the sound off of his TV, or give him the 20th hug, or we might have forgot a high five, ANDDDD he now needs a belly punk....OMG really, how long is this new nighttime ritual going to be little human?

So lets start at the beginning, because we have many rituals that we have gone through in our little humans small amount of time on this earth.

When our littlest human was a baby we tried to let him cry it out, quite a few times, but that little set of lungs held steady for at least an hour and would have DEFINITLY kept on screaming if we wouldn't have interrupted. I know some may have some really strong opinions on this. But for us crying it out didn't work. We resorted to rocking our little human to bed each night, which I can definitely say is soothing some days. Some days you just need those extra baby cuddles and some days you just need that extra glass of wine.

Fast forward a year or so and now he is in a big boy bed.... HECK YEAHHHH. He rocked the big boy bed. We thought he would be SOOOOO excited about his new bed he would sleep like champ....nope! This began the crossword, phone scrolling, and video watching era. We call this the floor era. We would lay on the floor and do our thing until the little human man fell asleep. Sometimes this was 5 minutes...these were the best days. Sometimes is was two hours...these were the days you walked away so frustrated you wanted to scream and stomp your feet. Sometimes we even fell asleep on that no so comfy floor, finding ourselves drooling and snoring only to be woken up when one of us realized how long it had been. Oh the days.

Now on to the next stage in our lives....the Twos!!! We have slowly moved away from the floor and now graduated to the stairs AND the possibility of running "errands" around the house. This was a VERY short lived stage. Soon we were having to hang in his room again, the tantrums got louder, and our time in his room was lasting almost 2 hours if not more each night....Oh did I mention we had a new born? I swear there were days I just wanted to run away! I mean I LOVE the heck out of my two humans but why is sleep so hard?

Now we are to the present where we have given in and put a TV in his room. Life has been civil in the Craig household. I definitely feel like it was the best decision we could have made even with all of our hesitation in doing this. I can actually have my glass of wine in peace and I can enjoy my husbands company once again!! But in the most recent months we have slacked in monitoring his TV time and life has become a fight again. Its a constant battle this parenting thing. If we don't shut off the sound he doesn't fall asleep until later and if we don't warn him before we shut the sound off he the debacle we are dealing with at the moment. My husband gets to deal with this one while I write.

Some days you ROCK this life and some days you just down right FAIL. But you know what, that's okay, as long as you know you need to pick yourself right back up and start again. Tomorrow I will be better about our nighttime routine and will go from there. That is the best I can do :)

Know you are doing the best. Know that you are a great parent. Know that while some may judge others are here to support you. Know that your little human will be okay and so will you!

Signing Off for now

What I want my Little Humans to know

I bet you read that title and thought, Whoa, this I going to get deep!! Well yes and no :) I will make this post short and sweet.

The last year of our lives has been a whirlwind of events. My husband went back to school to complete his Bachelors in Accounting, all while working full time and still helping ALOT with the little humans, we had a new baby almost a year ago now, we committed to renting a cabin on the lake, definitely one of the best decisions, and have had some interesting medical moments; to be discussed at a later time. And you know what.....with all that was going on we THRIVED!!! We learned to love every minute of our time together and were able to enjoy some much needed family time!

I have always had big things in mind for our little humans, but most of all I want them to know and understand 4 things:
  • I want our humans to know hard work. When you work hard and dedicate yourself to something, your future is endless
  • I want our humans to know success. With hard work comes success and with success you can dream big!
  • I want our humans to know opportunity! I want them to see and experience things. Things we would not be able to provide had we not gotten out of debt. Things they get to experience because their parents worked their butts off to provide it to them.
  • Lastly, I want our humans to know kindness. Just because we have it doesn't mean we can't loose it. We treat ourselves and others with respect and show them the love and respect we want in return.
I can only hope through our lives and our lessons we have shown our children a better path and that they will learn to grow and become amazing people!


As my husband always said: I'm living the dream! So go live yours!

Signing Off
Duces ✌

Bring in the Reinforcements

Lets start this post off with a little fact about myself. Are you ready for this.......I AM THE WORLD'S BEST DO IT YOURSELFER!!. I mean it! I can do everything myself!

OK now take a look at this title, you see it? Funny how the WORLDS BEST DO IT YOURSELFER is writing a blog about bringing in the reinforcements. What happened to " I CAN DO IT MYSELF"?

Well the story goes something like this:
One day I magically brought a little human into this world. He was full of snuggles and cute little facial expressions and had the amazing baby smell we all know so well. He was the light of my life!! Then came the sleeping...........Oh I mean lack of sleeping, feeding, changing, and cleaning! And who's job do you think I thought that would be......MINE and mine alone.  I mean, I am super mom and can do everything....RIGHT???? I wouldn't want to inconvenience anyone else....WOULD I???


If you think you can do it all yourself or that you even HAVE to...please think again. Take a look around you....I mean a real good look... Do you see that? Those people who have their hands raised or those asking if you need anything? Yes, them. They WANT to help! No for real, they do!

Next time someone says they will come over and hold your little human so you can take a nap, DO IT! Next time someone tells you to sit and eat and they will watch your human for a bit....DO IT!! Maybe someone offers to hold your little human so you can just take a peaceful shower, TAKE THE OFFER! And next time someone offers to watch your human so you can have a night better get dressed up and get your butt out of the house! Its OKAY to take the help!

With human number 1, I tried to do it ALL. I smeared that smile on my face and acted like all was fine. I refused others help and ended up grumpy and tired and feeling alone. Girls! Your husbands want to help! Mine sat by patiently as I turned away his help for so long! He sat by and jumped in when he could so that I could take a short rest. This big dumb mom HAD the help and she kept telling him "I GOT IT". Umm girl no you don't! We made this human together we can take care of this human TOGETHER!.

It takes a village to raise these human things! Use them so your humans can learn LOVE, COMPASSION, AND PATIENCE from others around you. Your humans can still be STRONG, SMART, AND INDEPENDENT humans with others help! I promise....not only will you be happier and more refreshed taking time for yourself but you can now "LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE"

So next time someone asks you if you need anything............jump up and say "YOU BET I DO, THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!

Signing Off

My Favorite Person....Dad, Hubby, Tails, Splinter
Our support system (Uncle John)

Our support system (Grandpa Joe)

Our support system (Grandma Karen)

Our support system (Grandpa Kip)

Our support system (Auntie Nikki)

Our support system (Grandma Mary)

I put my symptoms in WebMD and it told me "You just have kids"

When I first got pregnant I was so excited to read ALL of those pregnancy books and I was most definitely determined to be the PERFECT parent. My little human would sleep like it was his job and he would eat absolutely everything I put in front of him AND he would never throw a temper tantrum. Oh an he would be the smartest most well mannered little human. I know, I sound completely naΓ―ve but we can all day dream.

Well first let me tell you there is no such thing as the perfect parent. Let me say this again.....THERE ....IS.....NO.....PERFECT.....PARENT.  There, now you are free to be yourself and let your little human run around naked pretending to be Captain Underpants; even when you have company. Drop, blow off, and eat that cracker that fell on the ground, mess up your place of living, and be weird in public. I mean it....its OK!!!

I don't know if every parent feels the stress of being perfect or if this is just me pushing myself to the edge. I have always been harder on myself than anyone could ever be on me, which definitely makes this parenting thing harder.

I do think that society has gotten better about portraying the REAL parent. We are tired, a little messy, not always put together, we sometimes curse at our kids and at life; but we LOVE our kids and would do anything to see them succeed in this crazy world.

I will tell you that my house feels messy and clutter a lot of the time. There is a never ending supply of laundry that ALWAYS has to be done, and I am always stressing if my little human is learning what he should for his age. Oh and he now has developed an attitude where he thinks he knows everything there is to know and he tries to tell me what to do (I have recently learned this is called a "threenager").
Dinner takes 2 hours because talking is WAY more interesting than the food in front of him and bed time is an ever changing thing.

So what I am trying to say here is. BE YOU!! Parent your way and leave the rest behind. I found the attached image/saying and thought it was perfect for this post.

Signing off

The day I swore at my little human!🀫

Let's start this by saying I have always made a real effort not to swear around my little humans. I shushed those that did and felt bad for the days I unknowingly swore.

But life with a 3 year old rocks your world! Life with a 3 year old teaches you patience you have never known you had, as well as frustration like you have never experienced. That shit boils up in you and you have no way to let it out other than by letting out that long waited...fuuuuuuucccccckkkk. Now on with my story:

I remember the day in all its glory!!! It was a Monday, SWIMMING LESSON DAY!!! Every Monday I get to take my little human to swimming lessons. He doesn't particularly like swimming lessons but he doesn't seem to mind it all that much either.

This particular day we got to go hang out with his Aunt DD and Uncle Ed (not their real names, I just liked them πŸ€—) and play for a bit before swimming. Let's interrupt this story for a lesson:

Parent Fail #1: NO little human likes to leave ANYWHERE when they are having fun......let me tell you little human likes to leave a place of fun.

Well as you saw above he was having fun and the dreaded words came out of my Big Dumb Mom mouth....Let's get ready to head out. NOOOOOOOO. Now do I put out the fire and just let him stay OR do I pick a fight and get him to swimming? Choose wisely.....can you a guess what I did? I picked a fight. Long story short, it took us a few bribes and a lot of put your coat on human, put your coat on human, put your....coat...on....human.

We finally made it out the door in one piece and onto swimming lessons. No real tears and our sanity intact. Now onto swimming lessons. We walk in the locker room door and OH MY GOD here it comes.

Little Human: I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE!!!!!! 😭 Me: OK, lets go then Fred (this is his nick name..only used by me)
Little Human: I WANT TO GO TO SWIMMING Me: OK let's get dressed
Little Human: Not yet.

This went on for 10 minutes so finally I decided it was time to go. ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE. And I now looked like the person stealing a child.

Kicking, screaming, yelling for help, and crying big bucket tears. The whole thing. I WAS EMBARRASSED! I got home out to the car and I am pretty sure some guy thought about approaching me more than once to see if I was stealing this little human. NOPE sir he's mine but you can definitely have him right now.

We finally got all buckled in and he is still crying buckets and kicking and screaming and out it came. I never even knew it was there but it came flying out of my mouth faster then pumped up mom in spin class.

Why are you being an asshole!!!!

Oh my GOSH. I just swore......word vomit, here it comes again.......

Please stop being an asshole!!

Oh my GOSH, there it was again. Notice there are no capital letters here. I was 100% calm, so why did I just swear?

Well, shit happens. That's point behind this story. Shit happens and it's OK! Again, not perfect 🀫 but trying my best!

Signing off

The tantrum in all its glory. (I know, I'm awesome for capturing this moment! πŸ˜†)

Can I just glue my eyes shut?!

Do you need a TALL (I just slept for 8 hours) , GRANDE (4 to 5 hours isn't too bad), OR VENTI ( what the HELL is sleep!!)

Sleep is something you do when you DO NOT have little baby humans. I used to sleep! And when I slept, I slept like a champ! I would lay under my covers with my eyes shut, dreaming about some far off place and relaxing in sweet sweet bliss.......then I had little baby humans. WTF!!!!

My 3 1/2 year old didn't sleep through the night until he was 2 and then along came baby brother and well shoot he's up, why shouldn't we ALL be. I don't mean baby brother woke everyone up all night. I mean our oldest human decided well my brother cried so I think it's time to play.....NO ITS MOST DEFINITELY NOT!!!

Let me just start this next section off with, congratulations to all of you moms and dads out there that have tiny humans that sleep through the night. I mean that, that's amazing!! Whether you co sleep, let your tiny human cry it out, or you were just blessed with a little human that LOVES to sleep. I applaud you.

We were never a family that could let our minis cry it out. It made me cry myself and was more stressful than it was worth. I believe that my bed is my bed so co sleeping was out of the question and we were really not blessed with a human that liked to sleep.

So, for 2 years we got up at least once a night to either rock him to sleep or lay on the floor. Then after an extended period if time we would crawl out of the room as quietly as possible when we THOUGHT he was sleeping. All of you parents who have done this know that SLOW sloth like crawl across the floor. Hoping, Dear God PLEASE, don't hit that one creaky board hiding under the carpet.

Then that day came, that day everyone talks about, the one I thought was a myth....sleep! Welcome back my sweet friend!

Then baby #2 comes along and all sleep goes out the window again. Here we are, 10 months into Human number twos outside world living and we have managed a whole 4 hours of sleep a night......this week. Others are better but this week is especially awesome....NOT 😴πŸ˜₯. One day, this HOT mess of a mom will sleep again. And you know what I will be dreaming of.....not sure exactly, but I hope its AWESOME!!!

I don't tell you this to complain, I do not tell you this to feel sorry for me; because I don't!! I tell you my story because there are others out there like me. We are tired, our mommy/daddy brains are on point, and our appearance may not be perfect; and yeah we need that glass of wine at the end of the day, but dang it I wouldn't trade it for the world!
This is the 4th time he has come in here

This is me wondering when he will come in next